Why Men Don't Date Me!

Okay so here's the thing.  I don't get asked on dates...ever! Seriously, the last time I went on a date was like 3 months ago and that was a blind date.  The last time before that was like six months!  I find myself wondering why men don't consider me a dating option.  I mean, I have nice blue eyes, I'm fairly intelligent, I make great chocolate chip cookies, I love children, and I'm not high maintenance!  So in thinking critically about this issue I have come up with my top five reasons why men don't want to date me! Ready?!  Here we go!

1.  I don't know how to flirt!  My male friends tell me that flirting is key when attracting the male gender.  But when I practice on my guy friends, what happens?!  They laugh uncontrollably at my attempts.  Epic failure!  So I suck at the games of flirting and trying to show interest?! Strike one!

2.  I'm incredibly clumsy.  Running into doors, falling up stairs and hills (seriously! This one happened today...I was walking up the hill to school and I took a short cut, tripped on a step that was really a tree root and fell right on my face! Bahaha!), slipping on ice, and bruising my knees on any object that is at knee height!  No man wants to be constantly catching me or fixing up my scrapes and bruises!

3.  I'm great at awkwardly rejecting friendly male gestures.  Example:  So one day, our home teacher was bringing us brownies and Brittany and I were standing in their parking lot.  My hands were full with who-knows-what (history books perhaps?!), but I took the brownies graciously, smiled widely, and thanked him profusely.  I tried to show my appreciation by taking a piece to try it, but with my hands full and note reason #2, I dropped the plate of brownies right there in the parking lot...face down! 

4.  I'm incredibly nerdy and far too passionate about my favorite subject - history! No man wants to listen to how much I love learning about the American Civil War, the crazy quirks of Roman emperors, or how turquoise ended up in Central America.  And I like watching historical documentaries...I think that every male subconsciously knows that I would ruin their lives by having the TV on the History Channel instead of the football game!

5.  What was number 5? .....I'm sure I had a good one.  Oh yes!  I'm too funny...not in the "I'll-make-you-laugh-every-second" way, but I have far too many weird quirks that are crazy! Whether it's me tripping over my short tongue and saying something unintelligible, being way too tired to form cohesive thought, or not remembering what you said to me like five seconds before, there would be far too much funniness going on...that usually ends up in the form of me being made fun of!

So there you have it!  I'm expert at repelling males and their advances, so if you have any more reasons why they don't want to date me or how to fix my situation, leave me a comment! Or shoot me an email!  annamarie914@hotmail.com  :)